Are Black Men Intimidated By Natural Hair?

13 Nov

This topic has come up a numerous amount of times in the  Black and natural haired community.  Before you start to read, if you are extremely sensitive to topics that touch on race, then you might wanna continue on to the next post, cuz we keeps it 100 round here (country accent) lol :-).  The obvious question is, are black men intimidated by black women with natural hair?I’ve asked around myself and have gotten many mixed responses.  So far I’ve only dated black men and all of them wanted me to perm or straighten my hair, all but one!  After bickering and constant debates on ” whats wrong with the way my hair is now” and “why can’t you just appreciate the REAL me?.”  I finally just lost patience and eventually broke up with all of them (I hate to be surrounded by negativity).  On top of that, their reasonings behind it were so WHACK!  “I just wanna see what your hair looks like straight…all the time” or, this is a good one “I just wanna run my fingers through your hair….successfully”.  Yes he did ya’ll, yes he did lol.  But I’m not done!  What I don’t get is that they rather you perm your hair than put in weave.  Almost all the guys I’ve spoken to about this hated the un-naturalness of weaves, but they don’t mind the unnatural state of your overall texture!  HUH?!!! That makes no sense!  For whatever reason, call in confidence or pride in oneself, but why can’t he just love you for the NATURAL you?  Why do you have to be something you’re not to be appealing or sexy to him?  We don’t pressure them to rock a S-Curl.  We take them with fades, blow outs, braids and dreads (mmmm dreads lol).  What I have also noticed though, and this is another good one, is that White men are more attracted to natural sistas than Black men are!  Now tell me if that just doesn’t bring up more problems than a Chinese math test lol?  Most White men (and I do say most), are actually intrigued by natural hair.  The ways it moves, the way it feels, the work that we put into it, the way the carry our natural hair, is all very new and exciting for them.  I was in the library at my school one day, and this blonde-haired, blue-eyed hottie approached me and started straight up mackin lol.  He approached me with his swag ” all the way turnt up” lol.  The first thing that came out of his mouth was ” I don’t normally do this but, you are absolutely stunning. Your hair, your skin tone…will you be my friend lol?”  C’mon son lol! I HAD to give him the time of day…minutes included lol.  A Black man has yet to approach me by first complementing on my natural beauty.  I mean, granted sometimes I  do have my days where I look like Sanka from Cool Runnings, but I normally have my fearless natural diva (N.D) going on lol.  I just haven’t seen many Black men who are very excepting of natural curls, and not just with me but in general.  I love my Black men, but sometimes I swear they’re from another planet.  I just dont get them at times!  Especiallywhen it comes to this!  Please share your experiences and views on this topic.  It would be greatly appreciated, and I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!



7 Responses to “Are Black Men Intimidated By Natural Hair?”

  1. nachrel beautee November 13, 2010 at 7:03 am #

    I love being nachrel. My husband supports my decision in doing so. I must admit it took a little getting use to for him, he likes the long hair thing too. But I think that when I walked tall and was proud of being nachrel he followed suit.
    Natural is coming back. When others saw me going natural I inspired them to do it too. I’ve been seeing more and more black women going natural. I don’t think its a trend either all of us have different reasons why we decided to become natural. But overall its way healthier than the norm. The men (some) that want us to straighten our hair wants us to look like what they see everyday in magazines, music videos, movies. A REAL MAN wouldn’t care and would embrace our nachrel beautee. They (some men) fear what they don’t understand. We r still sexy with our walk,our talk and even our beautiful grade A hair. Nachrel is BEAUTIFUL!

  2. sasha halliman November 13, 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    omg its soo crazy i cut off all my hair so that i could go natural and enjoy the inner beauty of me because i love myself just that much but the the reaction that i have been getting is negative its truly sad and its not just black men but women too who find it unattractive to rock natural tresses my hair has been permed since the six grade and feel more beatiful now then i have ever felt and i have no hair no its not a phase and knowing who u are and if anyone cant except that then there truly not meant to be in your circle

  3. shatterproofglassdolls November 14, 2010 at 3:19 am #

    Ohhh Sasha, that was very well said and beautifully put. I wish you the best in your journey to the natural you. I KNOW you’ll love the results!!!!
    – Sherica

  4. Gwen November 15, 2010 at 5:39 pm #

    Very good post… Good thing I found this topic and it is recent. As a child from a black
    mom and white dad and mature, I was raised by my mother only and I do have kinky hair and black men as well would come out of the blue and say “Are you having a bad hair day!?” Other comments such as “U need a hot comb!” Or “My finger gets stuck in your hair!!!” hurt I told my mom I want straight hair between the ages of 7-12 I was teased and insecure, I would get a brush and try to make my hair straight but it will go back to curly. At age 13, I went to black hair websites and realize from others advice to appreciate your beauty and nappy hair lol!!! and now I am 15, and appreciate my nappy hair. I get nasty comments on it and weird stares looking at my hair, simple ignore them! You’ll find a guy that will appreciate your natural hair because at the end of the day they are goin to have to since the makeup, weaves and stuff comes off it shouldn’t be no suprise to them.


    • shatterproofglassdolls November 15, 2010 at 8:36 pm #

      Very well put Gwen and I appreciate that! Its a shame that there’s so much self hate and not enough self love in our community. Self love is the best love, and the sooner we discover that the better off we”ll be. I use to get tons of negative comments myself all through elementry, middle and high school. When I got to college people cared less about my hair being natural . Mostly everyone was more concerned with passing their classes and paying their bills lol. Besides, today if someone had something negative to say about my hair, I’m so much more confident now about myself and my natural state that I’d either have something slick to say back or just keep it moving. Life is to short too be fighting people about how the hell you wanna style your hair lol. Okay then doll. Take it easy, and dont forget to stop by and visit us every now and then :-)!

      – Sherica

  5. Takeysha November 16, 2010 at 12:14 am #

    This is soooo true…Ive gotten ALOT of negative comments..but i LOVE my hair and so does my BF…he did have a problem with me separating my twists soo much that my hair was always big and fro like….he didnt like this and thought it looked unprofessional….he loves when i just unravel the twists and leave curls as is…he doesnt want them fluffed or nothin lol…says he like to see defined curls..i LOVE it either way

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